Well... we have realized that maybe instead of making a mark on India, India will make a mark on us. Which is so common of people to report with these kinds of trips but somehow I forget it every time.
Going to the station every morning and seeing kids who are dirty, have no home, little food, open wounds, mangled body parts, etc and realizing that us being there for two hours every morning is not going to change their circumstances. India is what it is... just like you said Kara. They sit on our laps with freshly wetted pants and we feel disgusted at our now dirty smelly clothes and guilt quickly follows. How can I feel disgusted at their dirtyness!?! What kind of person am I that I would even hesitate to pick up and hold the little boy who is always smiling and singing due to his soaked pants? Does it even matter? I get to go home immediately after and take an amazing cold shower and put on clean clothes while he stays at the station running around greeting the regulars and singing his heart out.
Nope, we're sure not going to change his life. He won't remember us the day after our last day. So what do we do with that as Americans who are taught that we can change the world and opportunities are endless? It's so hard to accept that we're not making a difference or maybe that the difference made is invisible to our human eyes. I am just not sure.
Danielle
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7 comments:
Danielle,
This is Judy in Thailand. I just discovered your blog and am so happy and excited for you in this expereience and all that God is going to do through this time. I will keep up with you through it. Can't you just hop over a few more countries and come see us here for a weekend? Keep blogging and I'll keep reading!
Danelle!
HELLO-you are beginning to see India for what it is, you realize that you cant change it, so the best way to continue is to embrace it and love it for all that it has to offer...you will come back and be a more wholesome person.
Write soon-I love reading your blogs...
Danielle,Lexi, Erin, and Bridgette, Wow, It must have been very encouraging to have read the messages from your friends: Kim C. Kara S, Sarah M and Beth. It encourgaged me as I know you are all having a difficult time with the cultural cahnge. Be strong and of good courage. and you will all be so richly blessed. We are counting down the days to Nov. 28 and it will be here before we all know it. Blessing to you all!! Colleen (Danielle's mom)
Danielle, thanks to all of you for trying to show us a little bit of what you are experiencing. We are all very spoiled and don't realize how difficult life can be. Be encouraged God is there with all of you and you are being a small piece of God to those kids. We never can tell what impact we will make but as we obey what God tells us to do we can be sure that God will use it in our lives and those of others. God bless! Danny W
Dani,
I know exactly what you mean with the expectation to go there and change lives and changes their situations only to get there and realize that the only thing that will be changing is you...The exact same thing happened to me when i went to Haiti... It sounds like you have already come to the conclusion that it took me almost my whole trip there to realize. Im thankful that God is working in you everyday maybe not in the way that you originally expected but isnt that how it normally happens :) you go into something expecting God to work a certain way only to have Him shut that door and reveal a four lane highway elsewhere. God is Soverign...
Praying for ya,
Dave S.
Danielle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think God is tearing up thinking of how well pleased he is of you:)
keep writing.....sharing what He is showing you....He uses our stories...love you b
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